Write your own

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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The Economy

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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