A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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Your mom goes to college

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Justin Bieber

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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