Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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SPAMS!!!

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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