How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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George Bush.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Sea World Japan.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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WNBA

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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Real jokes.

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Avery has crabs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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