What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Women

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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