- Anti Joke

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

So a baby seal walks into a club

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.