How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

What comes after "Q" R

Oh. So his name's Brandon.

Don't rape me!

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

A man. That is all.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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