what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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I came.

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Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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penisface

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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