Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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Pavel Novak

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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