what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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DONALD TRUMP DIES

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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shut up

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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I LIKE TURLES.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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