What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

noodles

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

PENIS

Why did a man get arrested in a bar He was covered in bombs and charged with terrorism

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

Akshaytiger World

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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