Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

women's lacrosse.

go go gadget

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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