How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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666 im christian

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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penis

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

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Obamacare!

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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