GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +37

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jacob Edwards has friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops