3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

minorities.

What's your name? You tell me.

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

My sister has to take a dump

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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