clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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The WNBA

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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