whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -82

An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

thumb_up thumb_down +45

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

thumb_up thumb_down +43

fart

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's not red? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

-Knock knock -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +37

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops