what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +13

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

two fish are in a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops