How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

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what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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