I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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ur mother

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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