Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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If i was a chicken i would probably not be on this site. But i am, so you can all suck it!!!! BAHHHH i'm a frog EJ

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Communism ... ... ... ... ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Where else? The junk yard

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69

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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