why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

thumb_up thumb_down +24

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pianca going ham

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock It's open, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops