What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

lol

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

Avery has crabs.

Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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