Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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minorities

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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