A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

What do you find....... there's a..........

BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

i fondle myself every night....

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

Why Did the throw up He was sick

Canada's army

Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

but there is a road to the super market

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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