I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Women's Rights

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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i hate you.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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Icecream

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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