Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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Penis

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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