Penis

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What do you get when you make a website to put jokes on? People repeating the same joke over and over again, and still managing to get good ratings.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops