what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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the WNBA

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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ekoj

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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i wish i was a tree !

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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