How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

9/11

Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

What has human male genitalia? A human male

what is patrick wilson? smart

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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