What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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Fruitcake

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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