What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

Niko isnt a mexican douche

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

69

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

Fruitcake

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

this website...

A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...