Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he felt like it.

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Write your own

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Bing

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Dear John,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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