Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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9:11 make a wish

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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This is not Will Smith.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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