Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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69

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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whats better than shoes feet

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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