If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Where else? The junk yard

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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I am black.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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