What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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dat shoe shine tho

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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