What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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