what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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