Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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bologna

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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