What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

Whats long and hard? a pole

fart

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

Your life That's the joke

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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