Aodhan Hearty

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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the WNBA

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Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

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Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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