Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

nbjhfghl

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

josh simpson has cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...