Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a horse walks into a barn

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

William Raines.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops