Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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guess what? bannanas

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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