Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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