What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops