My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

race-car = rac-ecar

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A house comes around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops