1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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my penis

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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