What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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