Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

How many light bulbs? 1

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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