Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Gustavo Andrade

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Jesus Christ

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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