What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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The New York Giants

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops