Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -50

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +33

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops